Learning from the following favorite words：
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If we truly wish to shift from an adversarial to a cooperative approach in our interactions with others, we would do well to ask ourselves Einstein’s fundamental question. What is our working assumption? Can we think, act, and conduct our relationships as if the universe is essentially a friendly place and life is, in fact, on our side?
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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So where can we get some help to be able to reframe? As I have come increasingly to appreciate, the ability to reframe the external situation comes first from an ability to reframe our internal picture of life.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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In every challenging conversation or negotiation, we have a choice: Do we approach the negotiation as an adversarial contest in which one party wins and the other loses? Or do we approach it instead as an opportunity for collaborative problem solving in which both sides can benefit? We have the ability to reframe each difficult conversation from an adversarial confrontation into a cooperative interchange between partners. The best way to change the game is to change the frame.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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In other words, the answer we give to this all-important question is self-confirming. Depending on our response, we will behave differently and our interactions will likely have diametrically different outcomes.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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The work of self-understanding helped us to take responsibility for our circumstance. We learned to accept life the way it was, not to resist it or to lose time and energy wishing it were different. We took response-ability and sought to do the best we could to help the family and ourselves. We looked for every occasion to lead a normal, healthy family life with lots of laugher and love.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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The key lesson is that responsibility equals power, power to meet your deepest needs. In the end, each of us is faced with a basic choice of attitude. If blaming essentially means giving away your power and thus saying no to yourself, taking responsibility means reclaiming your power and thus saying yes to yourself.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Taking responsibility for meeting your needs is fundamentally about self-leadership. All too often, the inner judge, the constant critic, tries to take charge, using fear and blame, guilt and shame as instruments of control. Taking responsibility allows you to carry out an inner revolution of sorts. You can displace the judge and assume your rightful place as leader of your own life.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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The more we need another person to satisfy our needs, the more power that individual has over us, the more dependent and needy we are likely to behave. Taking responsibility for our needs not only helps us, but also facilitates the process of getting to yes with the other person.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Even if, objectively speaking, we are only partly in control of our circumstances, we still have considerable control over our experience. We can choose how we interpret what happens to us, no matter how bad, which will directly influence how we continue to feel about it and how we respond. If a business deal turns sour, we can choose to blame others and stew in our resentment and anger, or we can choose to see it as an occasion to learn and move on to a new deal.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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When faced with adversity, we can either blame others of life for our current circumstances or we can become curious and ask ourselves what lesson life is bringing us. Instead of resisting our current circumstances we can take responsibility for our lives as they are right now. Even if we would prefer not to face a particular challenge, we can choose the challenge anyway simply because it is what is in front of us. Instead of lamenting our fate, we can choose to embrace it.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
