Learning from the following favorite words：
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The more we need another person to satisfy our needs, the more power that individual has over us, the more dependent and needy we are likely to behave. Taking responsibility for our needs not only helps us, but also facilitates the process of getting to yes with the other person.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Even if, objectively speaking, we are only partly in control of our circumstances, we still have considerable control over our experience. We can choose how we interpret what happens to us, no matter how bad, which will directly influence how we continue to feel about it and how we respond. If a business deal turns sour, we can choose to blame others and stew in our resentment and anger, or we can choose to see it as an occasion to learn and move on to a new deal.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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When faced with adversity, we can either blame others of life for our current circumstances or we can become curious and ask ourselves what lesson life is bringing us. Instead of resisting our current circumstances we can take responsibility for our lives as they are right now. Even if we would prefer not to face a particular challenge, we can choose the challenge anyway simply because it is what is in front of us. Instead of lamenting our fate, we can choose to embrace it.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Taking responsibility for your life means owning your failures and faults as well as your success and strengths. It takes honesty and courage to do so, but only then will you be able to say that you have put yourself genuinely in your own shoes. You can then occupy your shoes fully-holes and all.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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That is the power of self-responsibility when twinned with self-understanding. Self-understanding without self-responsibility runs the risk of dissolving into self-pity. Self-responsibility without self-understanding can deteriorate into self-blame. To get to yes with yourself, you need both.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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It seems like a simple question- Who is really responsible for our lives?—but somehow the answer eludes us more frequently than we would like. Even though intellectually we know that we are responsible for our words, our actions, and even our reactions, we often look at our lives, wondering how we got where we are and typically find the answer in external factors. ….In other words, it was not our decision; someone else or some external circumstance is to blame.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Once you get past the blame and take responsibility, it becomes much easier for you to get to yes with others. The real work starts from within. Taking responsibility means taking responsibility for your life and your relationships. And, perhaps most important, it means making an unconditional commitment to take care of your needs.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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If we want to get to yes with others, particularly in the more difficult situations we face every day, we need to reclaim our power to change the situation for the better.”
Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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As I have witnessed in countless conflicts over the years, the costs of the blame game are huge. It escalates disputes needlessly and prevents us from resolving them. It poisons relationships and wastes valuable time and energy. Perhaps most insidiously, it undermines our power: when we blame others for what is wrong in the relationship—weather it is a marital dispute an office spat, or a superpower clash—we are dwelling on their power and our victimhood. We are overlooking whatever part we may have played in the conflict and are ignoring our freedom to choose how to respond. We are giving our power away.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Acceptance can create the sense of safety within which we can more easily face a problem and work on it. As Carl Rogers, one of the founders of humanistic psychology once noted: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I change.”
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
