Learning from the following favorite words：
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Learning to observe yourself is simple, but not easy, particularly in conflicts. With practice, you get better and better. Ideally, the balcony is not just a place to visit from time to time, but rather a home base. In your interaction with others, you can learn to be on the stage enacting the drama while at the same time watching it form the balcony.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Whenever you feel yourself triggered by a passing thought, emotion, or sensation, you have a simple choice: to identify or get identified. You can observe the thought and “identify” it. Or you can let yourself get caught up in the thought, in other words, “get identified” with it. Naming helps you identify so that you don’t get identified.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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In my teaching and writing, I emphasize the concept of going to the balcony. The balcony is a metaphor for a mental and emotional place of perspective, clam, and self-control. If life is a stage and we are all actors on that stage, then the balcony is a place from which we can see the entire play unfolding with greater clarity.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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An appropriate model need only:
1) acknowledge squarely the issue of unconscious bias;
2) recognize that bias encourages a dialectic of “our” values versus “their” values; and
3) show Western-oriented negotiators how to identify common ground and speak in terms of shared values about doing business.
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Quote from <Rethinking Negotiation Teaching>
Learning from the following favorite words：
“The negotiator must hold fast to the core principle: there is more that unites people than divides them. In the rhetoric of globalization specialists, we need not frame negotiations involving cultural values as the “clash of civilizations” argued by Samuel Huntington(Huntington 1996).
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Quote from <Rethinking Negotiation Teaching>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Second， once in negotiation she seeks from all parties as much information as they are willing to share concerning the institutions, personages or customary ways of doing business that the business deal under consideration may affect. If initial rounds of active listening do not result in a well-rounded sense of the situation, the negotiator internally checks her background knowledge with what parties have stated( Shmueli, Warfield, and Kaufman 2009). If parties seem less than forthcoming with information, the negotiator’s background knowledge can lend more directness to her otherwise open-ended questioning. The Emphasis in active listening shifts slightly more towards the active; but it does not devolve into a cross-mode, she shares relevant portions of the perspectives she has gained thus far. She expresses concern and humble confusion about whether she understands. She invites their assistance to improve her grasp of the situations they confront on a daily basis.
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Quote from <Rethinking Negotiation Teaching>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Pro-actively engaging cultural values
How would a next generation negotiator engage the issue of unidentified stakeholders?
First, before coming to the bargaining table, she will have already done her homework: she researched the historical basis for current social conditions. She also studied the legal structure and examined tensions between local custom and national legislative controls. While there is neither need nor expectation for her to become an instant expert in theology, she properly comprehends “religion” in terms of its social definition. Understanding faith traditions facilities understanding the ethical values and notions of obligation that define a community.
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Quote from <Rethinking Negotiation Teaching>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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…expert negotiators free themselves from the restrictions, born of habit, that imprison so many of their less skilled counterparts…..I provide examples of how versatile negotiators decide what to say. Such strategies as timing, positioning, advancing, and retreating are important, but so is the less studied talent of using words to implement these and other strategies.
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Quote from <The skilled negotiator>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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The idea of bargaining within a wholly secular, free market zone, undeterred by external ethical or religious controls might have some appeal. After all，a long-standing theory of modernization by means of global trade has held that “modernization necessarily leads to a decline of religion, both in society and in the minds of individuals.” Modernization has had greater “secularizing effects” in some locales than in others. “But it has also provoked powerful movements of counter-secularization”
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Quote from <Rethinking Negotiation Teaching>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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The first modern iteration of negotiation training embraced these power dynamics through its concepts and terminology. Bargaining began with the assumption that all was adversarial struggle for power in a zero-sum situation: what one party gained, the other lost. The goal of negotiation was simply to distribute wealth according to each party’s ability to exert power over the other. Some observers credit this “distributive” or “positional” bargaining model to the labor-management arena, where the leverage of unions to strike and of management to hire or fire roughly balanced each other in never-ending struggle (Hunt 2007).
Quote from <Rethinking Negotiation Teaching>
