Learning from the following favorite words：
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That is the power of self-responsibility when twinned with self-understanding. Self-understanding without self-responsibility runs the risk of dissolving into self-pity. Self-responsibility without self-understanding can deteriorate into self-blame. To get to yes with yourself, you need both.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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It seems like a simple question- Who is really responsible for our lives?—but somehow the answer eludes us more frequently than we would like. Even though intellectually we know that we are responsible for our words, our actions, and even our reactions, we often look at our lives, wondering how we got where we are and typically find the answer in external factors. ….In other words, it was not our decision; someone else or some external circumstance is to blame.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Once you get past the blame and take responsibility, it becomes much easier for you to get to yes with others. The real work starts from within. Taking responsibility means taking responsibility for your life and your relationships. And, perhaps most important, it means making an unconditional commitment to take care of your needs.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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If we want to get to yes with others, particularly in the more difficult situations we face every day, we need to reclaim our power to change the situation for the better.”
Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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As I have witnessed in countless conflicts over the years, the costs of the blame game are huge. It escalates disputes needlessly and prevents us from resolving them. It poisons relationships and wastes valuable time and energy. Perhaps most insidiously, it undermines our power: when we blame others for what is wrong in the relationship—weather it is a marital dispute an office spat, or a superpower clash—we are dwelling on their power and our victimhood. We are overlooking whatever part we may have played in the conflict and are ignoring our freedom to choose how to respond. We are giving our power away.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Acceptance can create the sense of safety within which we can more easily face a problem and work on it. As Carl Rogers, one of the founders of humanistic psychology once noted: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I change.”
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Putting yourself in your shoes helps you become your friend rather than your opponent when it comes to negotiating with others. It helps you not only to understand yourself, but to accept yourself just as you are. If self-judgment is a no to self, self-acceptance is a yes to self, perhaps the greatest fight we can give ourselves.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Among our basic psychological needs, two universal ones stand out in particular. One is protection, or safety, which promises the absence of pain. Another is connection, or love, which promises the presence of pleasure. How can we protect and connect?
Since life is , by nature, insecure and since love often feels insufficient, it is not always easy for us to meet these needs fully. But we can begin the process.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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The deeper we go in probing for our own underlying needs, the more universal those needs tend to become:
“Why do you want the raise?”
“To have more money.”
“Why do you want more money.”
“So I can get married.
“Why do you want to get married?”
“Because it will bring me love.”
“Why do you want to be loved.
“To be happy, of course.”
The bedrock desire then, is a universal one : to be loved and happy.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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In negotiation, the magic question to uncover your true interests and need is:” Why?” ”Why do I want this?” One valuable practice is to keep asking yourself why-as many times as necessary-until you get down to your bedrock need. The deeper you go in uncovering your underlying needs and interests, the more likely you are invent creative options that can satisfy your interests.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
