Learning from the following favorite words：
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Putting yourself in your shoes helps you become your friend rather than your opponent when it comes to negotiating with others. It helps you not only to understand yourself, but to accept yourself just as you are. If self-judgment is a no to self, self-acceptance is a yes to self, perhaps the greatest fight we can give ourselves.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Among our basic psychological needs, two universal ones stand out in particular. One is protection, or safety, which promises the absence of pain. Another is connection, or love, which promises the presence of pleasure. How can we protect and connect?
Since life is , by nature, insecure and since love often feels insufficient, it is not always easy for us to meet these needs fully. But we can begin the process.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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The deeper we go in probing for our own underlying needs, the more universal those needs tend to become:
“Why do you want the raise?”
“To have more money.”
“Why do you want more money.”
“So I can get married.
“Why do you want to get married?”
“Because it will bring me love.”
“Why do you want to be loved.
“To be happy, of course.”
The bedrock desire then, is a universal one : to be loved and happy.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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In negotiation, the magic question to uncover your true interests and need is:” Why?” ”Why do I want this?” One valuable practice is to keep asking yourself why-as many times as necessary-until you get down to your bedrock need. The deeper you go in uncovering your underlying needs and interests, the more likely you are invent creative options that can satisfy your interests.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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If you listen to your feelings, particularly recurrent ones of dissatisfaction, you will find that they point you in the direction of unmet concerns and interests. Properly interpreted, they can help you uncover your deepest needs.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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As I listen to myself, I notice that the majority of my problematic emotions are the same every day. For example, one anxiety that pops up regularly concerns the daily to-do list that only seems to expand” will I be able to get through it? To understand and reduce the intensity of these recurring feeling, I have come up with a daily exercise： in the morning, I imagine sitting at a kitchen table. As each familiar thought or emotion such as anxiety or fear, shame or pride shows up, I offer it an imaginary seat. I have learned to welcome all customers, no one excluded. I seek to treat them as the old friends or acquaintances that they are. As the kitchen table fills up, I listen to the free-flowing conversation of feelings and thoughts
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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As I listen to myself, I notice that the majority of my problematic emotions are the same every day. For example, one anxiety that pops up regularly concerns the daily to-do list that only seems to expand” will I be able to get through it? To understand and reduce the intensity of these recurring feeling, I have come up with a daily exercise： in the morning, I imagine sitting at a kitchen table. As each familiar thought or emotion such as anxiety or fear, shame or pride shows up, I offer it an imaginary seat. I have learned to welcome all customers, no one excluded. I seek to treat them as the old friends or acquaintances that they are. As the kitchen table fills up, I listen to the free-flowing conversation of feelings and thoughts
”
Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Observation gives us the understanding of a scientist studying what a beetle looks like under a microscope, whereas listening gives you the understanding of what it feels like to be a beetle. You can benefit from both modalities together. Anthropologists have found that the best way to understand a foreign culture is to participate in actively and at the same time to maintain an outside observer’s perspective. I find this method, called participant observation, is equally useful when it comes to understanding ourselves.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Optimism and confidence in negotiation emanate not only from a thorough examination of how the other side views things but also from a keen awareness of the conditions that surround the negotiation, Negotiations do not occur in a vacuum. They are influenced by such internal and external factors as time pressure, number of parties involved, proximity, and location.
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Quote from <The skilled negotiator>
Learning from the following favorite words：
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Self-judgment may be the greatest barrier to self-understanding. If we want to understand other human beings, there is no better way than to listen to them with empathy like a close friend would. If you wish to understand yourself, the same rule applies: listen with empathy. Instead of talking negatively to yourself, try to listen to yourself with respect and positive attention. Instead of judging yourself, accept yourself just as you are.
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Quote from <Getting to yes with yourself>
